In 12 hours I went through my whole life’s memories.
Jr. and Sr. High choral pieces. Grade school friend letters from California. College evidence, minus my diploma, is all bagged up for the dump. It’s weird and hard to decide what of my past to save and what to lose in the dusty files of “past life” paper memory.
I’ve tried to keep a good showing of it: birthday cards, silly little letters to my sis, and I haven’t even dared to touch the picture tub yet. My heart can only take so much in one day, people, and you all know how much I love pictures.
What do I want to show my kids when they get older of who I was and the building blocks of who I am today?
And then I wonder will they ever see it?
How long are You sending us, Lord?
I know it’s not for us to know.
You never told us how long we’d stay here.
And ten years feels like a blink some days.
Later today is our last Upward Basketball Celebration. It’s (I struggle to find a word here) hard to say goodbye to a ministry God gave you the grace to help start. We have prayed so much over this ministry. The hours. The love. The delight in the precious little children’s faces. We’ve gotten the privilege to watch children grow up in the ministry. Kids like the one I just tried to represent as I packed her away into my memory box.
Oh Lord, what a privilege to invest in another’s life. As I look back on the beautiful investments of my own I am left in awe at Your hand orchestrating the delicate flouring of my soul.
I don’t deserve such care.
I don’t deserve the opportunity to make such an investment in others.
What a privilege.
So upward little loves, we will miss you. Wonderful coaches, snack shack helpers, greeters (I can still picture Ms. Becky’s radiant face as she stood at the door for years), referees, Moms and Dads and friends and family of the jubilant little people… we’ll miss you. Big. Time. And thank you for the privilege of loving you.
And class back in California sending goodbye letters to a little 3rd grade girl moving to the cross-country unknowns, family who sent endless cards, friends who loved selflessly from even across the country, church youth groups, praise teams, college campus ministry… I miss you. And thank you for the privilege of loving you.
God has used you all to shape us into better followers of Him. We’re so much better because of you. Your investment is living on so much further than the memory box.
I’m so overwhelmed sometimes in this journey through my life. The good, the hard, the old and the new.
And as we start a new chapter, slowly closing up parts of the last one over the next 126 days, I’m thankful that in looking at how God used the past unknowns to draw us to Himself, I can have full confidence of His drawing in the future unknowns.
My heart is full. Thank you, so many dear ones, for continuing this journey with us and choosing to walk with us into memories beyond the memory box.
We don’t deserve your love.
You bless us so.
-Another step forward. To the ends of the earth.