Posted in adoption, being a mom, God's heart, just me, life thoughts

Who’s control is in Control?

You know, I just wanted to take a moment to bring up the interesting conversation/battle of birth control into the topic ring.

I have many times heard the birth control method argued by Christians to be “responsible” and “enabling you to control when you have a kid to best care for the child.” I have also heard the conservative approach, and even “excessively” conservative approach argued that “we’ll take whatever the Lord gives us.”

I find this conversation interesting in terms of the Duggar’s new announcement that they are pregnant with their 20th child. So many feel challenged by that information and often throw in their two cents of, “those people are ridiculous” judgement. I could easily find myself in that camp when my kids are obnoxious. I could also find myself in the “test of faith” camp wondering how many other feminist thoughts we are going to try to justify by the Word because the thought of not controlling our family feels uncomfortable and we want to feel justified with our level of control.

Matt and I have had this conversation many times and probably will continue to have this conversation as we continue to surrender our family to the Lord. I agree with him that birth control, whether it be abstaining during your ovulation cycle or a non-abort-effasive method, in many instances can be very responsible. I think it can also be very wrong. I think it boils down to the heart, which is what the Word seems to bring me back to.

Am I saying, “no, I don’t want You plan over my own,” to the very one I call Lord? Am I saying, “it’s not convenient,” and viewing children as the “burden” that first began the feminist movement of birth control? Is my heart in line with what God says about kids? Is my mind with Christ’s on valuing and delighting in children? And does not being on birth control really mean that I’m going to end up with 30 kids? What about Hannah? Or those in the Bible that were barren? Or those in the Bible that only had a handful of kids?

Or am I using my “faith” in God’s plan as a cop-out? Am I being irresponsible in ignoring the things we so clearly know about women’s bodies and how and when contraception is at it’s most harvest-filled time? Am I being selfish in wanting a particular number of kids and controlling in being non-controlling?

The battle is in the heart. And the surrender, on either side of the argument, is in the heart. But what I do know is that God calls us to self-sacrifice. His Will in exchange for our will. And His Will stretches us and is not comfortable because it defies our fleshly nature. His Will challenges and grows us. And while we can still be Christians and still be controlling, I just know one thing… the Judge looks at the heart to determine who is and who is not sacrificing in worship and evidence of their faith.

Paul states it this way in the Word, that all things are permissible for us, but not all things are good (or beneficial). It is important to weigh out the consequences of either side of this “birth control” argument and surrender our families fully to the Lord. For He even said, “Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say?” (Luke 6:46).

We need to be certain His motives are ours in all things, the make-up of our family included.

– to God be the Glory.


Have you ever thought that the all-sufficient Savior has promised those who walk in blind faith more than our minds can ever comprehend? That the only True Savior renews our minds, even when we feel most useless toward His Kingdom work? The Lord of all dares to touch our hearts, even as we stumble to find obedience. Oh how this soul wishes we Christians would embrace His Truth! And that the world would be different because of obedient hearts. Lord, change me. Lord, change us. All for Your glory. ---------- I am a Jesus-follower, a Homemaker, a Wife of the best man EVER, a Mom of 4 wonderful girls, a missionary in Africa, a Friend, an Encourager, a Seeker of integrity who is unsatisfied with a mediocre walk in Christ, and Blessed beyond any words that I could ever express. Thanks for being interested in my little slice of the world.

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