Well, it’s spring break and I’m busier than ever. [I really hate the word “busy”.] I went to a work training tonight which reminded me again of how much I am not cut out to be a teacher and how much I don’t want to be at my work anymore. But I also need to stop complaining and suck it up. It’s paying me. And I need to give it my all even when I get upset about spending so much of my life there. God has it in my life for a reason. [… sorry about my processing here… pep talks are sometimes a necessity.]
Random cute thing from today?
Four year old Christopher Turner (Pastor’s kid) told me about a character in a new movie they rented from the library.
Christopher: His name is google.
Rachel (7 year old older sis): No, Christopher. Google’s a website. Noogle’s a name. His name is Noogle.
So, yeah… this spring break finds me running around like a headless chicken at times. And at other times, with headphones lost in Les Mis. And other times, overwhelmed with the excitement of the upcoming August 25th. And at other times, wishing I could somehow convince a dear friend that she is not alone, despite a very draining job that seems to be “the only thing available”. And at other times… dear friends, I must admit that at other times I just wish that the silence of my own thoughts would be able to overcome me. That overwhelming feeling of being pulled in every direction all at once leaves you with the realization that in your mind you are still standing still. And to progress forward, sometimes you must visit the past experiences to release them from yourself. I guess this is the thought process of an introvert stuck in the expectation of extroversion. Sometimes, you just wonder if you’ll ever start living in the today if only you’d get the chance to let go of the yesterday that has been stifled until quiet time permits it’s release.
Heavy it weighs at times.